I struggled on how to approach today’s entry because I am going to talk about sex. Yes I said it sex! The most intimate way that you can tie your spirit up with someone else. Its called a spirit tie. As a single female, with brains, beauty, moral standards, and a somewhat devout Christian(I have my issues). I like many others struggle with being intimate with the right person. There is always a period of waiting, watching, and listening for some sign that its okay to proceed and take things to the next level with someone you love. I mean how many times have you been “in love”. A person’s swag, seemingly caring attributes, personality traits and habits, and spiritual journey with God can fool you into thinking that having sex with the person will seal the deal. In my earlier years on my journey B.C., sex was something to do, something I took for granted. Now I am by no means a virgin or saint in this area. One can never take back or get back that first time you showed your birthday suit to the person you thought would be there forever (for those that have succeeded in things Kudos to you!!). The bible calls out the works of the flesh and clearly states that one cannot inherit the kingdom of God. So crap! Have I forfeited my crown? I guess I will find out when I get to Heaven’s door. I have spoken to married couples, single men and ladies on the topic, and everyone has their own spin on when you should, why you should, how often you should etc. But here is the piece…you shouldn’t. Have you ever been dating and courting and everything seems to be going as planned as intended, and then oops you and the person you are dating/courting add intimacy to the equation, then all hell breaks loose? Well for starters you entered into a spiritual covenant knowingly or not, the thrill of being with that person intimately was probably pre-mature. You may have become: excuse the expressions “penis puzzled” and “vagina vexed”. Some men and women will have you going downright crazy if you have stumbled into some great physical relations, and you can lose sight of why you were courting in the first place. Not to mention the emotions you have now taken on from the other person and vice versa! To top it all off, you attached that L-O-V-E word to it as well, knowing damn well you are penis puzzled and vagina vexed. You will keep going back because you are chasing a euphoric high and you are distracted. I know some are going to deny this and provide examples of why this is not always the case, but for a growing Christian this is the truth. The guilt and shame that comes when you know better and should/can do better is daunting! I am speaking from experience. We can always go to God in prayer and ask for forgiveness and help etc. but we secretly know, and He knows that it can and will probably happen again. There is power in the word though. I guess its a matter of how important it is to please Him, or gratify ourselves and sadly we often choose the latter. I think I am beyond gratifying myself at this point, its become so much more important to please Him. Besides I can’t think of single time it has been worth it in my dating life to do it the wrong way…I think I would be married by now. I digress, I am not promiscuous and a “saint”…sometimes I can be an “ain’t” because every now and again some handsome, smart, intelligent, and even God-fearing man will enter my life on a mission to to get my cookies. It’s a struggle for males and females to not be so lustful. There is a lot out there in the world to lust after. I guess my point is that open dialogue around this with your partner is a must. If you are both running the same race to get to the same place, why not figure how to get there together and do what’s most pleasing to God. By the time you both figure it out, you may be engaged or have parted separate ways, but at least you will not have bound and tied your spirit up with someone else, brought a child into the world with someone you have no business being with, and not to mention the perfect peace that you have because you are not dealing with someone’s insecurities. Some folks think once they have gotten the cookies, they have a lifetime membership to Cookie Galore the Platinum Edition. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Don’t give a man nor a woman the keys and tools to uproot your peace and your walk. It is that serious! Besides the man or woman who is right for you will surely wait. Yes there may be others in the background that are not speaking the same language I am talking right now, but guess what that’s their walk. What is your walk about? This is what I have had to say to myself and so far, by the Grace of God it works. So the next time you get the why you are single, in your best Kevin Hart voice, say see the way that my Walk with God is set up…and you know the rest. He/She will either love you to life or run like crazy. As I tackle this in my own walk. I meditate on
9 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
So there you have it. It’s in the Bible. Some believe it some do not…I am not here to force you to do one or the other. I just know that if you are a single Christian male or female then you are running into the same Bozos and Jezebels that I am. Iron sharpens Iron, so the best I can do is share what I know works, and what brings the most peace to my spiritual life and dating life.
Feel free to comment, I love a healthy discussion and respect people’s opinions and experiences.
Grace to you today!
Written with Love