My Straddle Struggle: All in or All out

Yesterday during Easter Service I was moved by the sermon Who will remove this Stone?  Mark 16:1-4. My pastor illustrated Jesus as the great cornerstone. He talked about God giving us stones in life that only He can move. He talked about having that 1thorn that will stay in your side as a reminder His Grace is sufficient. I have a thorn, we all have at least one! I found myself wishing I could choose my own thorn, thinking of all the things that would be bearable. But then I had a reality check, if it were up to me I wouldn’t give myself any thorns. As a matter of fact, if I didn’t have a thorn , truth be told I wouldn’t pray, I wouldn’t worship, I wouldn’t talk about how great and awesome God is. If I didn’t know him as  healer, I couldn’t tell it, if I didn’t know him as a provider I couldn’t tell it either. There is something about worshipping and praising God that makes me want to be locked in the sanctuary all day long. Some call them mountaintop experiences. But whenever I’m in the presence of the Lord, I can truly forget the world out there and I’m super faithful in that sanctuary. I spend time in the word to adjust my perspective of the world. I find myself straddling the fence on some things. So I have been thinking about  Revelation 3:16 NKJV
So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.
Now I believe in God, Jesus and the Holy spirit, him being born from the Virgin Mary. The entire Gospel. I believe Jesus died for my sins. I believe my sins to be forgiven. I study the word to be held accountable for my faith walk. I study to know the God, I’m so in love with…I study for a relationship; but I fall short like way short…and I certainly don’t want to be someone’s vomit even if it is divine vomit. So I struggle because Lord knows I can be lukewarm in my walk though I try not to be…I still legitimately struggle and I do so with other believers. The last thing I want to do is cherry pick my sins, cherry pick my scriptures and craft this realistic  fruit basket of cherries and call it my faith walk with God. Thank God He still loves me! But I think back to my times when I believed I was most faithful and guess what?! I was isolated from people and things. Kept my interactions minimal,  stopped sharing my walk and just took the stance of just me and Jesus! I was a supersaint so I thought, but really all I did was project this self righteous holier than thou attitude. I’m sure God was not pleased. That was when I believed Christians didn’t have fun and I was the last person that could and should be saved lol! Don’t act like you all don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t have the answer for being All in Straddled or Out. What I do know is God gave me another day which means I still have work to do…so clearly He is not vomiting… I hope. I could go into isolation but that’s not Christ like so perhaps the true answer is love in all things even the unlovable. If I choose love then perhaps I won’t straddle as much. Definitely have to revisit this. One post won’t capture my thoughts today.
Written with Love

One thought on “My Straddle Struggle: All in or All out

  1. TELL IT… The sermon I heard yesterday left us with an equation… Mess (thorn) + Messiah = Message (testimony)… so our thorns are required for us to have a testimony to lift Him up. We definitely cannot do that in isolation.

    Awesome word today – thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

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