Prayer Warrior Worry

Romans 12:12 KJV

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;

Colossians 4:2 NKJV

Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;

Ugh. Spiritual Frustration. So I consider myself to be prayer warrior. Lord knows I can get a prayer through, move a mountain, toss a trial, and breakdown strongholds. I’ve done it with the best weapon I have :my bible scriptures and the muscle located between my lips. I even finished a book given to me “A Better Way to Pray” (thank you T!) Daily I’m raising up petitions unto the Lord on behalf of others and then I will slide in a prayer or two for me.  Sometime later ( but kinda quickly) I’m hearing that those prayers for others have  been answered, that problem went away, that breakthrough came, or that blessing poured out! I rejoice too as if it were my own prayers and desires for my life answered. But then I get in my feelings with God about it. I am being so honest right now…. Sometimes I’m seriously like “Jesus, I prayed in your name, I spoke the word which brings life and manifestation, I know you can and you will and have interceded on my behalf to God….so ummmm what gives?  There is a song that says “I don’t mind waiting on the Lord”….I can sing it from the depth of my soul…but the truth is waiting is really hard for me to do! Being still is hard for me to do. Here I am asking the Lord to order my steps and guide me, but the period of waiting is the part that’s causes excitement and anxiety. Have you ever felt this way?  In some ways the feeling between the two are polar opposite. One day I’m excited and another day I may be anxious. Well I have figured out that my anxiousness pretty much cancels my prayer. Meaning I pick it back up when I’m anxious even though I laid it at his feet. My anxiousness falters my faith :|. Guilty on all charges! So as I struggle(d) with what I call spiritual frustration, I decided to look at scripture regarding prayer. Now prayer appears in the bible 113 times…the action to pray or some variation of it appears over 300 times and there are about 650 prayers in the bible. This clearly depends on your version. Either way the two scriptures above are what spoke to me. I read the NKJV when studying. So reading one line of scripture doesn’t really cut it so I read the whole chapters and ooh did I get both a spanking and a hug from God!

Romans 12:12 is an excerpt from chapter 12 that deals with Behaving like a Christian. This was my hug from God because I do believe that despite my many flaws my life reflects my faith walk with God and my discipleship. BUT! Yes remember early I just said I don’t like waiting! Well clearly the patient in tribulation has not been priority on my list of to dos. Patiently waiting should not be confused with being busy bound! I am the queen of being busy bound. What does that mean? It means I will pick up any and every activity to keep me busy in an effort to mask my “patiently waiting” and mess around and be so bound that what I originally asked and prayed for is….DELAYED! Ouch and Amen. This came to me at 3:30 am this morning.

Now Collosians was my big spanking. I thank God daily for my blessings. The Grace that is afforded to me is often very overwhelming… So my spanking came with being vigilant in thanksgiving as I continue in prayer. In other words, sometimes I pray like God has forgotten me, like He has never done anything for me, or like He won’t answer. Not on purpose, but when I’m so bound by the busyness, I approach the throne defeated unable to bask in  thanksgiving and His  Grace. Shame on me for that. Yay God! As I have meditated on these scriptures, I’m realizing that the prayers of others that I intercede for are answered because I approach them with my faith ferociously. I feel like a Lioness going into prayer on behalf of a brother or sister. But then when its time for me, I act like a wimpy cat! Now you may not agree but if this is you too, drop me a line or two:).  As believers we must approach God with a humble heart but because He knows our heart, he knows if we really believe the prayer we are asking for. Our faith in the prayer is a factor. Truth be told often times its not answered because its not His will for your life. One of the easiest things to say is Not my Will but Thy Will be Done. But sometimes its the Hardest to adhere to.  Pray for me, the struggle is soooo real!
Written in Love

One thought on “Prayer Warrior Worry

  1. Thanks for your honesty. I struggle with “waiting on The Lord” also, but The Lord is so gracious because no matter how often I falter by being anxious he reminds me that His timing is perfect! I also remember the parable Jesus told of the persistent widow, which He says is an encouragement for us to be persistent in prayer as are the scriptures who highlighted. I don’t believe that anxiety falters faith, I think what it does is make the wait less peaceful (Phil 4:6-7) Whether we are anxious or not, as we wait, God will still be faithful to keep His promise to answer prayers in Jesus’ name and according to His will.
    I’ll pray for you and you pray for me and maybe we won’t be anxious as we learn to grow in this area.
    Peace is a gift and a fruit of The Holy Spirit, may we experience it more as we wait.


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