Archives

5 Blessing 5 months

It’s been months since I wrote, 5 to be exact. Funny how 5 symbolizes God’s grace, goodness, and favor. Ironically what kept me from writing was choosing Love. I know I always seem to be on this chase and pursuit of Love. Love comes from God and I have plenty of that all around and so again I find myself loving someone who could not and did not stay. I’m trying to spread that love and it’s a challenge. So was it really love anyway. Yes, it was and is. But sometimes things just can’t work, especially if working with a different definition and a different source.  A topic for another day. While I would love to rehash the account. I won’t. It’s something I released  to the Lord. In the midst of my heart condition around dating issues God showed up! 1) God led me to a new church home for enhanced spiritual nurturing and teaching I had become weak. 2) I received a job another blessing! After months of searching I had stopped. Then someone sought me out for a job. Praise God. 3) My case closed for my volunteer work and the child I work with will be adopted! 4) I was blessed with a new place to live 5) I celebrated 35 years in September. So yup that’s 5 things that happened in 5 months while the obstacles were humongous my God is bigger. He gave me so many “hugs” along the way. So much encouragement even through my tears! So as I approach Thanksgiving and I reflect on these past few months. I am reminded about alignment and the plans I have for myself. I planned to fall in love and be married because 35 was approaching. I planned to stay at my former job for more than 4 years. I planned to have children. BUT, Jeremiah 29:11 NLT reminded me : For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This scripture always gives me comfort because it means that God always has my best interest in mind. It  helps me sleep at night for sure! It reminds me that in Him I live, and I’m nothing without him. 

Choosing Love Part II

When I think about the goodness of God and all He has done for me, my soul cries hallelujah. I look back over my life and I have endured more pain then I care to think about, but I have also experienced an even larger amount of joy. Some of my most painful moments shared  several commonalities. In other words I often  experienced this pain because of
1) a poor choice decision I made
2) a refusal to align with God’s will
3) a false understanding and misrepresentation of Love: what it feels like, what it looks like, what it does for you and what it makes you do for others.
4) lack of communication
(To God in prayer and to the  perpetrators involved)

I wrote an entry that started this way a few weeks ago and I decided to use it again.

So I try to reflect on this as often as I can and I tweak and adjust accordingly to show what love is patient, kind, sweet. I fall short sometimes by saying things I don’t mean or showing little to no regard to others. God showed me His Heart and love for me. He woke me up this morning started my day. He has given me assignments, some I havd completed, others not so much. After months of an intense job search, I’ve finally landed where He desires me to be. For 5 months I planted seeds and I sowed and now I am about to reap. I learned some new things about myself and I became reaqquainted with some things I had forgotten. Some of my thoughts, beliefs and understanding of many things have been challenged.  But in all things still choosing love over any and everything else.  In doing so and being observant I realize that not everyone is open to receive it and believe it. How uncomfortable it must be to receive real love and it not look like what the world says it is. How  strange to be with someone who trusts you to be who you are, who comforts you when need them, who prays for you while you are in a storm, who encourages you to walk in the will that God has for your life? Who is kind and patient and whose  words sooth like honey. This should be the norm but instead people  have bitterness, and layers of experience that has misconstrued and destroyed Love. TRUE love. God is Love, so if your understanding of God in all is mightiness is one Who is kind, patient, loving, understanding, self controlled, and giving and forgiving …one who displays these actions, why is it so hard to mimic the character of God. I’m just talking today. I’m in a state of trying to understand and navigate through loving people. Loving even when they seem unloving and unlovable. Perhaps it’s because God loves me so much it has become second nature to walk in my spirit and speak in my spirit without flesh getting in the way as it so often does.  What is the answer what do you do ? Sometimes there isn’t one. God just wants us to be obedient and in doing so the answers come. So the other part about love, we choose who to love and we put it into action. It’s easy and free flowing but it’s got to be God  Centered and Christ featured. Love began with them so taking them out
of the equation does way more harm than good.

Be Blessed,
Written with Love
Truth

Posted from WordPress for Android

Ask and You Will Receive

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Last night, I had a long conversation with God. There are many nights when I just go to bed thankful. Thankful for the days and years I have experienced. I always become so overwhelmed with God’s goodness, and His grace extended to me. Some days when I am just still, not running errand after errand, and checking off my to do list, I have time to meditate on purpose and plan. It’s been officially 4 months since job separation. I have enjoyed not going to a 9 to 5. I enjoy planning my days, I enjoy giving my time and attention to the things I neglected so much when I was working. I love the way my spirit feels in the morning. I can say God what would you like me to do today, and it does not involve an outlook calendar or a 2 hour meeting about a meeting to have a meeting about the 2 hour meeting. I enjoy talking to strangers, and catering to those who have less than I do. It’s almost as if my level of sensitivity to others needs has increased. I find myself wondering how this came to be. Then just as I am basking in God’s goodness and grace toward me, I am reminded how much, the Lord has granted me when I delight myself in Him. I am shown how much of my worry and anxiousness is removed when I take complete joy in being in his presence. I lose myself in His word, I stand confidently in His promises, and when I speak life, it gives me life. I sing his word and it puts me at ease. I dance to glorify him. When I speak His truth into myself and others it makes my heart so happy. There is something about God’s will that is perfect and on time in every way. The prayers of yesterday that I prayed so long ago, seem to be manifesting right now. The prayers that brought me prostrate on the altar are being answered. What I asked for in His name is coming to past. It’s exciting and scary though for me. I say to myself, God is watching little bitty old me, little bitty Deniece. He is ordering my little feet with his humongous footprints.

I am reminded

John 16:23-24(NKJV)

23 “And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. 24 Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

So I made up my mind to take it all to Him in Prayer, to ask for everything in His name. I will always get an answer, and the more answers I receive the more I will realize just how aligned to His will I truly am. Whether his answer be Yes or No, both answers contribute to a larger outcome of our purpose and plans.

I guess what I am saying this morning is just ask in His name and then sit back and see what He does. Don’t second guess what He tells you because no one knows better or more than God the plans He has for your life. Short entry today.

Be Blessed and Loved Beyond Measure

written with Love,

Truth

Choosing Love

When I think about the goodness of God and all He has done for me, my soul cries hallelujah. I look back over my life and I have endured more pain then I care to think about, but I have also experienced an even larger amount of joy. Some of my most painful moments shared  several commonalities. In other words I often  experienced this pain because of

1) a poor choice/decision I made
2) a refusal to align with God’s will
3) a false understanding and misrepresentation of love and happiness: what it feels like, what it looks like, what it does for you and what it makes you do for others and most important where it comes from!
4) lack of communication
(To God in prayer and to the perpetrators involved)

I recall a time when I met someone who looked good on paper, but was lacking every great quality that I desired in a companion. I often wondered why is it so hard to find a loving companion. Why is everything taking so long, why hasn’t he crawled through my window (because clearly he doesn’t frequent my local grocery store, Starbucks and any other place I have graced my presence with.) Sometimes Love is right in your face though. It comes from the least expected places and from people you least expect. Here is the reality, I want to be spoiled, I want to be courted, but above all else I want to be appreciated, not just for what I look like, but for who I am, what I am about. I want acceptance for being just me. I want my husband to know that I am a gift from heaven and that he is also my gift. I want to be protected and cared for so I can nurture and support my husband and children. I want children. I want my life and that of my family to glorify God in a mighty way.  I admire married couples who have been married for years, they make an effort daily to love their partner for who they are, they run the race of life together. For affairs of love and relationships, I speak love and give life to all current circumstances. I leave you all with these scriptures. So the next time you find yourself in a conflict of relationship or circumstance  ask  yourself if  any of the four commonalities I mentioned above occurred  ( be honest too, I trust you) . Then meditate on these below.

1. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”- 1 Peter 4:8
2. “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12
3. “Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.”- Ephesians 4:2-3
4. “For I know the plans I have for you, ‘Declare The Lord,’ plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- Jeremiah 29:11

5. “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”- Mark 10:9

It’s hard enough running alone, so running together is a blessing.  I choose love this day and everyday for my family, friends, and loved ones.
Written with Love,
Truth

Check Your Company

I Corinthians 15:33-34

Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.

All week long the Lord has been dealing with me about habits and the company I keep. Naturally, I decided to meditate on this and see what my manna from Heaven says. So in my humble opinion, I have the greatest friends and support group around me. I live thousands of miles away from my hometown in Boston, but I have managed to find me a great church family, some lifelong friends whom I now consider family : shoutouts to Young Palmer, Killah K, Brownie and Waffle. P.s I’m big on nicknames so these have been used to protect the innocent. I spend so much time with
these 4 people and we just click. If you have ever had some really great framily (friends+family) then you know what I’m talking about. These people keep me on my toes and sharpen me spiritually. Then there are my friends and family back home WAY too many to name. I think about the good habits I’ve developed. Those are easy. Before Christ though I had some pretty bad habits…I was bitter, angry, drank too  much, cussed too much, fought too much, I smoked nasty cigarettes, yes (I know gross). I got in my own way all the time, because I believed I was in complete control of anything and everything around me. I was stressed sometimes even depressed. The best thing I ever did was exchange my company I kept. For starters I had to recognize God and recognize that He gave His only son for me. Do you know how much pressure and burdens were lifted from me, just in acknowledging Christ as my Savior. Receiving God’s love and developing a relationship with Him literally forced me to check my company and exchange it for ultimate comforting company: Jesus and his Holy Spirit. The Bible says Be Not Deceived Evil Company corrupts Good Habits. Have you ever backslid into a poor habit, or found your oh so saved self doing things you used to do and then wondering what happened? Well, I have and I had to self evaluate and check my company. Checking your company is not always checking your immediate circle of friends or family either, sometimes checking your company is doing a spiritual read of the holy spirit that dwells in you . IS IT PRESENT AND BEING FED? In other words…what have you been pouring into yourself spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Are you spending enough time with God and asking Him to keep you. There is a song that says “oh to be kept by Jesus
It sings about being in the company of the Lord. We must do this daily. It’s easy to blame our shortcomings, backsliding, and iniquities on others and circumstances, but let us not be deceived that all influences are always other men. YOU (myself included can be your own worse enemy). Nurture yourself regularly and know what God has in store for you. It’s okay to ask others for advice but God has the final say and knows the plans He has for you!

Jeremiah.29.11.nkjv
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord , thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Check your company, your first line of defense and first “person” in your presence should be the Holy Spirit. Its here to guide you. So try to steer away from evil company that corrupts good habits. The best way to do this is to be spiritually strong. Evil spirits can’t be around Good spirits very long.  Scripture tells us  at the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, but it will help if people actually see Jesus in you and that they recognize you dwell in the company of the most high. Just a bit of food for thought!
Be Blessed,
Written with Love
TRUTH

Posted from WordPress for Android

Do you operate in Messy Maybes?

Hmmm. A few weeks back I posted about sowing seeds of yes and no. Saying yes will often open ones self up to opportunity and saying no may close a door that was never meant to be opened. I never really talked about Messy Maybe. I felt bad about  this at first. We live in a world  of Messy Maybe and lots of uncertainty. Think of the last time someone said “Maybe” to you, and how much anxiety developed over that very answer. Didn’t you almost want them to say “no”, just to ease the angst that would come from wondering if the answer would be yes? We do this a lot with relationships, career choices, life choices. Like fellas if you met a woman and you really liked her, and planned on spending time and energy you would want to know the outcome and if she is worth the effort right? So You downplay the reality of the situation which is you really like her but you act indifferent to protect yourself and live in Messy Maybe land til the happy time fades. Ever wonder why people go to extremes to protect themselves from happiness? It sounds silly but we do it everyday because while we pray for God to order our steps, we often try to alter the direction He chose for us to get there. Ladies do it to. You meet someone and they have no red flags so far but you look till you find at least 1 and then you stockpile them until you have built a little cocoon of protection from happiness. Oh it must be just me huh? Ummm probably not, but I will stand alone and admit I have done this and I know I do this. So something that has helped me is remembering,my first thought is most likely the right thought. For example, all these personality tests and questionnaires online are designed to help you” figure out “you. (Please don’t judge me on the amount of time I spend to find out what my name means, what my spirit animal is,what is my personality color, what storm in nature matches my personality, and how many licks does it take to get to a tootsie pop center etc. 😂) Anyway, you get my drift right? We answer these questions without a second thought about ourselves, but we tend to leave others hanging in limbo over things that just don’t require it often creating messy situations for no reason. Do a circle check of your friends and family, if you have ever had an issue it may have started with indecisive measures and a  Messy Maybe.
So here is another scripture I have been meditating on 

Matthew 5:34-37 NKJV

But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne;  nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King.  Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black.  But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.

The first few seem simple enough but the last one is what spoke to me.
But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.

It makes sense, God is not the author of confusion, and He does all things in decency and order.  So if we are trusting Him in our spirits and not operating out of flesh, shouldn’t the answers come in the same way. He advises us to say what we mean and mean what we say and anything more than that is from the evil one.

I don’t know about you,but some of my worse life experiences were a direct result of me operating in a nebulous state of confusion. The above scripture can apply to any given situations.But its most useful to me in dealing with people.  I often have people tell me I’m different and genuine, and I surround myself with like minds. Thank God iron sharpens iron! But the reality is that I show consistency in my dealings with people. I commit and follow through on my word and I don’t keep folks in an ambiguous state with me. Why? Well since when is ambiguity, obscurity comfortable for anyone or caused anyone to feel good. If you had an ambiguous friendship, marriage, job, or finances, would you feel AWESOME? Probably not. But if you feel different please chime in.

Not standing on the word or even your own word (Yes, No) or operating in uncertainty is like playing Jedi mind tricks with the enemy and thinking you going to win! When in actuality its going to take Big Faith in God with Lots of help from Jesus, Prayer, and recognizing the Yes and No answers required to deal with people and circumstances.

The GREAT thing is God will and can answer back in the same way Yes or No. He does so faithfully. Imagine if God operated in uncertainty with us. Now don’t confuse this with people wanting to be omniscient or omnipresent (truth, that’s not something I desire, they are reserved rightly so for God). But what if today He gave you EVERY DESIRE you ever asked for 48 hours and then the very next day took it all away. Now yes most of us would praise Him anyway some wouldn’t though. Imagine  having everything and then nothing and then being completely unsure if anything else was ever going to come (JOB). Now JOB had supersaint Faith. But He trusted in the consistency that God provided. He is the same yesterday today and Forevermore! In my heart I believe that our Yes and No give real power in our situations. I believe that anything more than that is from the evil one because MY God does not give me confusion. He gives me peace, love, joy, understanding and wisdom, and self control. So anything else is just not from Him. His YES and No’s keep me in check to give the right Yeses and No’s to those I encounter. AMEN.
Be Blessed Y’all,
Written with Love,
Truth

Posted from WordPress for Android

Prayer Warrior Worry

Romans 12:12 KJV

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;

Colossians 4:2 NKJV

Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;

Ugh. Spiritual Frustration. So I consider myself to be prayer warrior. Lord knows I can get a prayer through, move a mountain, toss a trial, and breakdown strongholds. I’ve done it with the best weapon I have :my bible scriptures and the muscle located between my lips. I even finished a book given to me “A Better Way to Pray” (thank you T!) Daily I’m raising up petitions unto the Lord on behalf of others and then I will slide in a prayer or two for me.  Sometime later ( but kinda quickly) I’m hearing that those prayers for others have  been answered, that problem went away, that breakthrough came, or that blessing poured out! I rejoice too as if it were my own prayers and desires for my life answered. But then I get in my feelings with God about it. I am being so honest right now…. Sometimes I’m seriously like “Jesus, I prayed in your name, I spoke the word which brings life and manifestation, I know you can and you will and have interceded on my behalf to God….so ummmm what gives?  There is a song that says “I don’t mind waiting on the Lord”….I can sing it from the depth of my soul…but the truth is waiting is really hard for me to do! Being still is hard for me to do. Here I am asking the Lord to order my steps and guide me, but the period of waiting is the part that’s causes excitement and anxiety. Have you ever felt this way?  In some ways the feeling between the two are polar opposite. One day I’m excited and another day I may be anxious. Well I have figured out that my anxiousness pretty much cancels my prayer. Meaning I pick it back up when I’m anxious even though I laid it at his feet. My anxiousness falters my faith :|. Guilty on all charges! So as I struggle(d) with what I call spiritual frustration, I decided to look at scripture regarding prayer. Now prayer appears in the bible 113 times…the action to pray or some variation of it appears over 300 times and there are about 650 prayers in the bible. This clearly depends on your version. Either way the two scriptures above are what spoke to me. I read the NKJV when studying. So reading one line of scripture doesn’t really cut it so I read the whole chapters and ooh did I get both a spanking and a hug from God!

Romans 12:12 is an excerpt from chapter 12 that deals with Behaving like a Christian. This was my hug from God because I do believe that despite my many flaws my life reflects my faith walk with God and my discipleship. BUT! Yes remember early I just said I don’t like waiting! Well clearly the patient in tribulation has not been priority on my list of to dos. Patiently waiting should not be confused with being busy bound! I am the queen of being busy bound. What does that mean? It means I will pick up any and every activity to keep me busy in an effort to mask my “patiently waiting” and mess around and be so bound that what I originally asked and prayed for is….DELAYED! Ouch and Amen. This came to me at 3:30 am this morning.

Now Collosians was my big spanking. I thank God daily for my blessings. The Grace that is afforded to me is often very overwhelming… So my spanking came with being vigilant in thanksgiving as I continue in prayer. In other words, sometimes I pray like God has forgotten me, like He has never done anything for me, or like He won’t answer. Not on purpose, but when I’m so bound by the busyness, I approach the throne defeated unable to bask in  thanksgiving and His  Grace. Shame on me for that. Yay God! As I have meditated on these scriptures, I’m realizing that the prayers of others that I intercede for are answered because I approach them with my faith ferociously. I feel like a Lioness going into prayer on behalf of a brother or sister. But then when its time for me, I act like a wimpy cat! Now you may not agree but if this is you too, drop me a line or two:).  As believers we must approach God with a humble heart but because He knows our heart, he knows if we really believe the prayer we are asking for. Our faith in the prayer is a factor. Truth be told often times its not answered because its not His will for your life. One of the easiest things to say is Not my Will but Thy Will be Done. But sometimes its the Hardest to adhere to.  Pray for me, the struggle is soooo real!
Written in Love
Truth